Jan. 10th, 2014

thewrongkindofpc: ryan ross in dark glasses, in a car with a cat on his shoulder (Default)
(I'm going to start this by saying that I know there are some comments floating around that people have made on these posts that I haven't replied to yet. Life has gotten weirdly busy right now, I don't even know why, but they all made me all kinds of giddy-happy, and I will be responding to them as soon as I can brain again. Until then, here's time for some flail and no real substance!)

In your own space, share a book/song/movie/tv show/fanwork/etc that changed your life. Something that impacted on your consciousness in a way that left its mark on your soul.

I was having a hard time choosing what to talk about for this one, because that's the thing about fandom, isn't it? We are the people who let pieces of media change our lives in big, obvious, here-I-am-and-here-is-my-enthusiasm-and-never-shall-the-two-be-parted kinds of ways. So of course there are a lot of pieces of media that I could talk about as things that have changed my life.

Things only change your life when you connect to them, though. And you only connect to things based on who you are when you encounter them. So I'm going to talk about a tv show that has changed my life inasmuch as it has helped me solidify an understanding of who I already was when I encountered it.

It's not a secret that I love the show Shameless. The one that has my heart is the US version, which is currently starting its fourth season on Showtime. I know I have my Anglophile moments and also my moments of the-original-is-best media snobbery, but I also am American, and I also have the hugest soft spot in my heart for adaptations, and there's something about this Chicago-set show that gets under my skin the way the original UK version never did.

I was watching the first episode of the fourth season tonight with my roommate and one of my oldest best friends, both of whom love the show with the same kind of intensity that I do. They were talking about how Sheila, Karen's mother, was probably their favorite character after Lip, who they are both in love with, and I was trying to figure out, in my head, why I disagreed so very much.

For sure it's no comment on Joan Cusack's acting, which is fantastic, or the writing, which I love. I just don't like her character, and I realized, after a bit, that it's for the same reason that I love the show's main character, Fiona, with the same kind of intensity: Sheila has never succeeded in taking care of her people, while taking care of her people is all Fiona does.

I realize that this says more about my own values, and probably, to a certain degree, my own fucked-up priorities, than it does about either fictional woman. I know, intellectually, that I'm opposed to the idea that women need to be caregivers, and while they both take on a maternal role, which would suggest otherwise, I don't really think how I feel is about that, except maybe tangentially. It's about how I live my life by the idea that what you do, what you need to do, is that you pick your people, and then you do whatever you can to stick by them and do your best for them. You can't love everybody, you can't take care of the world, so you pick your people, and then you stand steady.

Maybe Fiona doesn't entirely have the luxury of choice, but who does, entirely? You live in the situation you live in, and she picks her brothers and sister again and again as she stays with them every day. She lets her parents go because they never held up their end of the deal. Sheila, on the other hand, can talk night and day about how much she loves her daughter, but she never ever sees her clearly, and when the chips are down, and Karen is at her most mangled, Sheila sends her off on a cross-country road trip alone with the sex addict husband who slept with her mother, so she can seek a miracle cure from some quack bearing wheat grass. And now I'm supposed to feel sorry she's lonely?

I have lots of other thoughts about the show, from all of the different ways Carl could grow up to the way I really really want to write queer!Mandy fic--there was a line of hers near the end of season three that I could totally see going there. The truth is, though, that when it comes right down to it, I mostly just adore Fiona Gallagher.
thewrongkindofpc: ryan ross in dark glasses, in a car with a cat on his shoulder (Default)
In your own space, create a fanwork. A drabble, a ficlet, a podfic, or an icon, art or meta or a rec list. A picspam. Something.

I had a couple of other things I wanted to get done for this one, but I'm weirdly tired tonight, so I took the easy way out and wrote the scene that got stuck in my head last week down.

old friends of the stars, 765 words of the conversation that happens directly after Ryan goes home after Let's begin at the beginning (we're lovers and we're losers). Is exactly as self-indulgent and emotionally fraught as the rest of the series, be warned.

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thewrongkindofpc: ryan ross in dark glasses, in a car with a cat on his shoulder (Default)
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